Love is a beautiful thing. It comes in, washes over you, distorts your perceptions, and makes you happy. It can grow with time, but if you’re not careful, it can also deteriorate.
The first half of the struggle is stoking the fires; the second half is significantly more difficult: admitting that your partner’s feelings are beyond of your control. You can only be yourself, and finding someone who will love you for the rest of your life isn’t as simple as you may think.
Being together out of comfort and familiarity isn’t fair to you or your partner.
As you go through the list, be honest about whether your partner, or even yourself, possesses these qualities.
- Your relationship is stale, and it is always up to you to plan dates and activities
Not surprise, things quickly become stale after reading number one. You may know what to expect and perhaps consider it a safe haven at first, until things simply…get boring. If you desire romance, you must plan it yourself, and even if you and your partner do go out, your spouse may not be as open as you would like at the occasion.
- Social situations are filled with minimal effort on their part
This means that if you and a friend are both invited to a party, your partner will attend, but you should keep your distance from those who are important to you—and everyone else. They will most likely be quiet, speak only when spoken to, and make no attempt to get to know others or initiate conversation.
- They keep you away from important people
It’s a red indicator if they have important friends or family members, yet they keep you away from them. A caring partner will encourage you to meet and spend time with these folks. They’ll be overjoyed at the prospect of you befriending their acquaintances. Something is wrong if this isn’t the case and you’re being kept away.
- Loss of sexual interest
Sure, you’re having sex, but is it uninteresting? Routine? Dwindling? Does your partner take it personally when you make suggestions? What are their pornographic behaviors, specifically?
- There is no motivation to change
A good pair, once again, stimulates one another. Maybe the lady is creative and busy, and she motivates the couch potato to get out of bed. Perhaps the male is intelligent and smart, prompting the woman to pick up a book or two. This is what a good pair does: they encourage each other to grow rather than forcing it.
You’re both into each other, and you accept each other for who they are, but you both strive to be better for each other and yourself. If this isn’t the case, or if it appears to be too good to be true, your spouse isn’t interested in changing. It’s not your fault that you don’t inspire them enough; it’s their problem that they’re blind.
- Plans together never leave the planning stage
You’ve been talking about buying a house for the past three years, but there’s no sign that it’ll materialize. You’ve been talking about going on a trip to that one place where you both want to make memories, but when you give your spouse additional details, he or she makes an excuse to stay at home.
- You have no common end goals
You want to be married, live together, and have a dog and a cat. Your partner prefers to live in an apartment with no pets and is unaware of the concept of marriage. There are two distinct playing fields. When two people are in love, they will go out of their way to ensure that they are on the same page.